Feelings...

This week my Facebook, Twitter, and even Instagram feeds had an explosion of posts about mental health, dealing with depression, people being open to "listening" if you're feeling sad, and a lot of sharing of feelings and personal expression of depression. The catalyst for this being the suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. For one week, my feed was less regurgitated babble and ire about terrible Trump, and more about caring for one another.

Last night I was having drinks with a friend and we got talking about feeling sad and dealing with depression. I told him I sometimes get sad for what seems like no reason. Everything in my life could be going great, but I just feel sad. And sometimes angry. I know, for me at least, a lot of this has to do with hormonal imbalance, being hangry, etc. But also, sometimes, I just feel sad. Its not the same as being depressed, and I know how lucky I am I can say that.

When I got home, I watched a little TV and saw a very thoughtful ad with Michael Phelps, advocating for therapy, by talking about how much it has helped him. I thought "wow, this is great, and hopefully will help de-stigmatize therapy".

I know so many people who have been helped by seeing a therapist. I also know an equal amount of friends who think they can work stuff out on their own. Maybe they can. But when you are feeling overwhelmed by everything around you, it doesn't hurt to talk to someone who can hep you deal with your stuff.

My previous job drove me close to what I am pretty sure was a nervous breakdown. I spent most of my time crying and feeling like I was being crushed every day I was able to get out of bed.  I put on a happy face at work- well, as happy as I could, even though I was barely hanging on. When I did talk to people about how I was feeling, I often heard "hang in there". "Hang in there" is for those last couple hours of a work shift. It's for finishing a grueling project. Don't say that to someone having  a meltdown. I contemplated therapy every day, but had no idea how I would be able to get away from work to go. Or pay for it. So I didn't go. Instead I quit that job. A place I loved, a job I didn't. It took a while being away, having a new job I love to get back to what is normal for me.

Why am i even writing this blog post? Well, I guess I have been thinking about it a lot lately. And writing stuff helps.